I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
