Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
