I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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