My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
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I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
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Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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