Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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