it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
