You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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