Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
