my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
