the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
