I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
