People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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