Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
