Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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