Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
worst night to have a conscience
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
This is my gift to your gina
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
