It's like a parade of train wrecks.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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