he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
