you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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