I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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