Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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