I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
