One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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