I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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