Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
