I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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