the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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