So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
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They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
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You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
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