Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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