I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
did i just pee glitter
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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