I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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