so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
