I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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