i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
