i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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