Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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