Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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