I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
