oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
