Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
