We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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