Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Randomize
