Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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