they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
