just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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