I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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