Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
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