Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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