I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
