Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
