next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
