hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
