If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
