ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
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