Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
