shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I will be naked everywhere
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
