White coat. Heels.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
