Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Randomize
