I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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