I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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