hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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