having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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