she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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